New MyIQ data suggests that family inequality is often shaped less by favoritism than by the uneven distribution of worry, support, and expectation.
61% of parents say one child worries them more than their other children, according to new MyIQ data, pointing to a form of family inequality that is rarely described as favoritism but is often felt by siblings over time.
Parents may insist, sincerely, that they love their children equally. Many do. But equal love does not always translate into equal attention, equal help, or equal emotional availability. Inside families, fairness is often shaped by more practical questions: who needs money, who calls in crisis, who appears unable to cope alone, and who seems strong enough to be left alone.
A MyIQ survey of 10,874 parents across the United States, the United Kingdom, Europe, and Latin America found that unequal investment between children is most often tied to perceived need rather than stated preference. Parents may reject the idea that they have a favorite child, but many acknowledge that one child occupies a larger share of their mental and emotional life.
Nearly half of parents, 48%, said one child requires significantly more emotional energy than their siblings, while 44% said one child receives more practical support, including financial help, problem-solving assistance, or direct intervention during difficult periods.
The imbalance becomes clearest during instability. Parents described stepping in repeatedly for the child they saw as struggling, even when that pattern created tension elsewhere in the family. Meanwhile, children perceived as independent or self-sufficient were often given less attention because they appeared to need less. In practice, competence can become its own penalty.
That pattern produces a sharper contradiction later in life. The child who struggles may receive more help, while the child who copes may inherit more responsibility. The survey found that 39% of parents already expect one specific child to provide most of their support as they age, even though many said they would prefer care to be shared more equally among siblings. In many families, the expected caregiver was not the child receiving the most support now.
The finding points to a quiet but consequential split in family roles. One child may become the focus of worry, emergency help, and financial rescue. Another may become the reliable one: the person expected to answer calls, absorb pressure, coordinate care, and remain available when the family needs someone steady.
Sarah Meyer, Managing Director of MyIQ, said the findings show how easily unequal patterns can form without parents consciously choosing them.
“Most parents are not setting out to create inequality between their children. They are responding to pressure. Attention follows worry, support follows need, and the child who seems most capable is often treated as if they can manage with less. Over time, that can become the family pattern, even when everyone still believes the family is fair.”
The findings also reflect a broader shift in family life. Adulthood no longer cleanly separates children from parental responsibility. Financial help, emotional support, and later-life care increasingly overlap, turning sibling roles into long-running negotiations rather than childhood memories. The question is not only who received more attention growing up, but who is still being asked to carry more now.
The data suggests that unequal investment remains embedded in ordinary family life, even when families avoid the language of favorites. Love may be shared equally in principle. But worry, money, attention, and future responsibility often follow different paths. In many households, the more revealing question is not which child is loved most, but which child gets rescued, and which child is expected to endure.
About MyIQ:
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories: cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories: cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.