Dating fatigue rises as curated behaviour dominates initial relationship months.

Pressure to appear emotionally composed and agreeable has become a defining feature of contemporary romantic dynamics. According to a recent MyIQ survey of 8,500 adults across multiple regions, 74% of respondents say they behave "noticeably differently" with romantic partners than with friends. This suggests a significant shift toward performance-based behaviour that may undermine emotional transparency in the long term.

The trend appears most pronounced in the initial stages of connection. 61% report presenting a "best-behaviour" version of themselves for at least the first three to six months. Of these, 42% describe the experience as "exhausting but necessary" to preserve early harmony. The data suggests a divide between public and private identity: while friends see unguarded expressions, romantic partners initially meet a curated persona aimed at managing first impressions.

Motivations vary. 56% fear early conflict, 48% worry about appearing emotionally complex, and 37% are concerned their authentic traits might seem immature or lacking ambition. Such anxieties reinforce emerging cultural pressures to perform maturity and emotional fluency from the outset. Over time, as these efforts wane, friction can emerge.

Indeed, 64% of those who reported masking say their partners later expressed disappointment once initial behaviour patterns shifted. This often prompts a period of renegotiation, where expectations forged in the early phase collide with more stable, authentic traits. According to MyIQ data, 51% say this shift led to conflict or emotional withdrawal.

The psychological toll is measurable. In follow-up assessments conducted three months after initial survey participation, 47% of respondents who masked their behaviour reported increased levels of emotional fatigue, and 31% noted a decline in relationship satisfaction. Among those in relationships lasting over a year, 28% said early masking had long-term effects on trust and openness.

Interestingly, the data also reveals gendered patterns in masking behaviour. 82% of women report altering their behaviour in early stages, compared to 66% of men. However, men were more likely to describe the shift as strategic, while women more often framed it as a form of self-protection. Younger respondents (ages 18-29) were also significantly more likely to report masking, at 79%, compared to 62% of those over 40.

These findings reflect a cultural realignment. Where relationships once unfolded gradually, today’s norms favour instant compatibility and composure. The early phase of dating has become a space for impression management, narrowing the distance between professional self-presentation and intimate connection.

Despite its emotional toll, respondents generally do not interpret masking as deceitful. 52% describe it as "protective," 46% as a "practical necessity," and only 9% as dishonest. MyIQ analysis suggests that this behaviour functions more as a social strategy than an ethical violation, an adaptive mechanism in response to complex relational expectations.

As emotional labour in dating continues to rise, the long-term effects of masking remain uncertain. But for now, the data presents a relationship landscape shaped by curated selfhood, shifting norms, and a growing tension between presentation and authenticity. The findings suggest that awareness of this behavioural split could itself become a new marker of emotional intelligence, as individuals and couples seek more sustainable ways to build early trust.

About MyIQ:
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories, cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.

Media Contact:
MyIQ - pr@myiq.com
Sophie de Villiers
PR Manager