New data reveals a quiet imbalance in relationships, with perceived emotional superiority emerging as a common, under-acknowledged source of tension.
A majority of people believe they are more emotionally mature than their romantic partner, according to a new MyIQ survey that sheds light on a subtle but widespread relational dynamic. In a study of 7,842 adults currently in long-term relationships, 61% of respondents said they consider themselves more emotionally mature than their partner. Only 18% believed the opposite, while 21% saw themselves as emotionally equal.
This internal imbalance, what MyIQ calls "emotional asymmetry", appears across demographics, but is especially pronounced among those aged 25 to 39. In that age group, nearly two-thirds rated themselves as more emotionally developed. Gender differences were also present: 66% of women believed they were more mature, compared with 54% of men.
The study explored how participants defined emotional maturity in practice. Those who rated themselves higher described themselves as better at de-escalating conflict, taking responsibility for emotional repair, and reflecting after arguments. Their partners, by contrast, were often described as reactive, avoidant, or emotionally defensive.
These perceptions carry weight. Among respondents who saw themselves as more mature, 72% reported frustration with recurring conflicts, compared to 44% among those who viewed their relationship as emotionally balanced. Over half said they often withheld concerns because they believed their partner “wouldn’t be able to handle it constructively.”
Rather than fueling overt conflict, these dynamics seem to produce quiet disconnection. 58% of self-perceived “emotionally mature” partners said they felt responsible for maintaining emotional stability in the relationship. Nearly half, 47%, acknowledged internally judging their partner’s reactions during arguments. Over time, this asymmetry may create a dynamic in which one person adopts the role of regulator while the other becomes positioned, implicitly, as the emotional liability.
Sarah Meyer, Managing Director at MyIQ, believes the data reflects a broader cultural moment. “Emotional insight is valuable,” she said, “but when it turns into quiet scorekeeping, it can create distance. Self-awareness is only helpful when it remains relational, when it includes room for difference, not just self-evaluation.”
The survey makes clear that this is not about objective measures of emotional intelligence. Rather, MyIQ emphasizes that emotional maturity is shaped by context, stress, and the dynamics between individuals, not just traits. A one-sided belief in one's greater maturity may obscure how each partner contributes to relational patterns.
The findings highlight a paradox in modern relationships: increased emotional vocabulary doesn’t always lead to greater intimacy. MyIQ’s data suggests that believing you’re more emotionally evolved can become a barrier to connection, especially when insight becomes self-certification rather than shared growth.
As emotional intelligence becomes more mainstream, the question is not who’s more mature, but whether couples are willing to examine how they each define and practice maturity together.
About MyIQ:
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories, cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories, cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.