New MyIQ research suggests that radical honesty may be creating friction rather than closeness in modern relationships.
In a cultural moment that prizes openness and emotional transparency, a growing number of couples report that sharing everything has come at a cost. According to a new survey conducted by MyIQ, 58% of respondents say that excessive emotional disclosure has, at some point, weakened trust, attraction, or stability in their relationship rather than strengthening it.
The survey, carried out in September 2025 among 2,430 adults in long-term relationships across the US, UK, and EU, explores what MyIQ describes as the “oversharing paradox”: the idea that emotional openness, when unfiltered or poorly timed, can undermine the very intimacy it is meant to support.
While emotional literacy and honest communication remain widely valued, the data suggest that boundaries still matter. 64% of respondents said they felt pressure to disclose every thought or feeling to their partner, even when doing so caused discomfort or conflict. Among respondents aged 25 to 39, that figure rose to 71%, indicating that younger couples may be especially influenced by norms of radical transparency shaped by therapy culture and online relationship discourse.
For some participants, the consequences were personal and lasting. One respondent, a 34-year-old woman based in the UK, described how constant emotional disclosure altered the dynamic of her relationship. “We reached a point where nothing was processed before it was shared. Every fleeting doubt or irritation became a discussion. Instead of feeling closer, I felt emotionally crowded, like there was no space left for attraction or calm.”
The survey data suggest this experience is not uncommon. 41% of participants reported experiencing what they described as an “emotional ick” after learning certain personal details about their partner, ranging from unresolved past attachments to intrusive thoughts that were never acted upon. A further 32% said that knowing too much about their partner’s private anxieties or previous relationships had permanently altered how they saw them.
Another respondent, a 29-year-old man from Germany, said the pressure to be completely transparent backfired. “I thought being honest meant saying everything out loud. Some of it was just anxiety talking, but once it was shared, it could not be taken back. It created insecurity that had not existed before.”
Importantly, the survey does not suggest a return to secrecy or emotional withdrawal. Instead, it points to a distinction between constructive vulnerability and what respondents perceived as unprocessed emotional offloading. 67% of those surveyed said that timing, context, and intent mattered more than the volume of information shared. Only 29% believed that complete emotional transparency at all times was healthy for a relationship.
Sarah Meyer, Managing Director of MyIQ, said the findings reflect a broader misunderstanding of what emotional intimacy requires. “The data shows that honesty alone is not a relationship skill,” Meyer said. “Emotional insight involves knowing what to share, when to share it, and why. Without that awareness, openness can turn into emotional overload rather than connection.”
The survey also highlights gendered dynamics. 54% of women reported feeling responsible for managing their partner’s emotional disclosures, compared with 38% of men. At the same time, men were more likely to report regret after oversharing, with 46% saying they had shared something that later harmed the relationship, compared with 34% of women.
Respondents who reported higher relationship satisfaction were significantly more likely to describe their communication style as “selectively open” rather than “fully transparent.” The findings suggest that discretion, rather than secrecy, may play a stabilising role in modern relationships increasingly shaped by expectations of emotional totality.
About MyIQ:
MyIQ is a digital self-knowledge platform that helps individuals understand how they think, feel, and function through structured cognitive, emotional, and relational assessments. The platform offers an IQ test, a full-spectrum personality assessment, and a relationship insight quiz, each providing personalised, actionable feedback designed to support informed self-awareness and healthier decision-making.
MyIQ is a digital self-knowledge platform that helps individuals understand how they think, feel, and function through structured cognitive, emotional, and relational assessments. The platform offers an IQ test, a full-spectrum personality assessment, and a relationship insight quiz, each providing personalised, actionable feedback designed to support informed self-awareness and healthier decision-making.