A new survey from MyIQ reveals that comparisons to past partners continue to shape emotional dynamics in current relationships, often without conscious awareness.
According to new data from MyIQ, 40% of adults habitually compare aspects of their current partner to past relationships, even when unaware they are doing so. The online survey, conducted among 3,412 adults who have been in at least one relationship over the past five years, suggests that unresolved emotional templates from previous partnerships continue to influence behaviour and expectations in new ones.
Respondents were asked whether they still notice similarities or differences in specific areas such as communication, affection, conflict management, and financial habits. While 40% said comparisons happened often, another 28% reported occasional comparisons. The pattern was strongest among respondents aged 25-34, with 48% admitting to frequent comparisons, compared to 22% of those over 50.
Gender differences were also observed. While overall rates of comparison were similar, men were more likely to focus on perceived emotional availability and sexual compatibility, while women more frequently cited emotional safety and communication. These tendencies shifted by relationship length: comparisons were more emotionally charged in the first year, and more practical in longer-term dynamics.
According to MyIQ analysts, these behaviours reflect the persistence of relationship imprinting, where past experiences operate as unconscious benchmarks. MyIQ’s relationship quiz and personality assessments are designed in part to reveal these inherited frameworks and help users gain clarity on how past dynamics resurface in the present.
The impact is not neutral. Respondents who reported frequent comparison were 35% more likely to experience recurrent jealousy, 22% more likely to report lingering anger after disagreements, and significantly less likely to rate their relationships as highly satisfying. These patterns suggest that comparison acts less as a passive memory than as an emotional shortcut, one that can distort present perceptions.
Awareness is limited. Among those who acknowledged repeated comparisons, 62% said they only recognized the pattern after being prompted by the survey. This underscores the largely subconscious nature of the behaviour and raises questions about how couples can identify and address inherited expectations before they affect relational health.
For relationship professionals and individuals alike, the implications are clear. MyIQ recommends integrating structured reflection tools into both self-work and couples' processes, helping users differentiate between actual incompatibility and echoes of the past. Rather than framing comparison as failure, it can be seen as an emotional diagnostic, a prompt to examine unspoken needs, triggers, and unhealed experiences.
These findings land amid a broader cultural emphasis on emotional literacy, as more individuals seek frameworks to decode behavioural patterns in relationships. MyIQ positions this survey as part of its broader research programme into how memory, expectation, and identity interact within modern partnerships. As self-knowledge becomes more measurable, even subconscious comparisons may become tools for deeper connection, if people are willing to look inward.
About MyIQ:
MyIQ is a digital self-knowledge platform that helps individuals understand how they think, feel, and function, combining cognitive, emotional, and behavioural insight. The platform offers a full-spectrum 90-question personality assessment, a 120-question relationship insight quiz, and a cognitive test, alongside games, lessons and personalised feedback used by more than one million individuals globally.
MyIQ is a digital self-knowledge platform that helps individuals understand how they think, feel, and function, combining cognitive, emotional, and behavioural insight. The platform offers a full-spectrum 90-question personality assessment, a 120-question relationship insight quiz, and a cognitive test, alongside games, lessons and personalised feedback used by more than one million individuals globally.
Media contact:
Sophie de Villiers, PR manager, pr@myiq.com.
Sophie de Villiers, PR manager, pr@myiq.com.