Almost 70% of long-term couples report a drop in desire despite love, MyIQ survey shows.

A new survey by MyIQ finds that 72% of partnered adults said stress has affected their romantic connection this year, while 68% of respondents in relationships longer than five years reported a noticeable decline in sexual desire despite still feeling love for their partner. The results point to emotional and cognitive exhaustion, rather than a shortage of affection, as the primary driver of eroding desire among long-term couples.

The survey of 1,243 partnered adults, fielded in November 2025, asked respondents explicitly whether stress had affected their romantic connection over the past 12 months. Seven in ten respondents answered affirmatively. Among those who reported reduced desire, 64% said they continue to feel emotionally close to their partner, yet lack the mental energy or emotional bandwidth to translate that closeness into sexual interest. These proportions indicate a consistent pattern: affection persists even as desire flags.

MyIQ frames these findings in psychological terms. Respondents describe a convergence of chronic work demands, caregiving responsibilities, and pandemic-era aftereffects that deplete the cognitive resources needed for sexual motivation. Many survey participants identify fatigue, intrusive worry, and diminished capacity for emotional regulation as daily barriers to intimacy. For clinicians and relationship practitioners, this pattern resembles what the survey characterises as “attraction burnout”: the gradual collapse of desire when emotional energy is continually diverted to non-romantic stresses.

The data disaggregate across age but are especially pronounced among respondents aged 30 to 45, a cohort balancing peak career pressure and family responsibilities. Within this group, 74% reported stress-related declines in romantic connection, and 70% reported decreased desire despite sustained emotional attachment. For relationship-focused practitioners, the correlation between cognitive load and sexual motivation is especially salient: desire appears to be an outcome of available cognitive and emotional bandwidth as much as of relational satisfaction.

The implications cut across individual counselling and public conversation about long-term partnerships. First, interpreting declining desire as evidence of fading love risks misdiagnosis and unnecessary instability. Second, interventions that concentrate solely on rekindling romance or increasing sexual frequency may miss the underlying problem if they do not address stress, sleep, and cognitive load. Third, workplace and social policies that compress recovery time and extend caregiving burdens have downstream effects on private life and sexual wellbeing.

MyIQ’s survey suggests practical avenues for couples and practitioners: prioritising restorative routines, reducing decision fatigue through practical supports, and reframing desire as contingent on cognitive availability rather than as a fixed trait of the relationship. These approaches reorient responses from blame to remediation.

This analysis underscores a central, evidence-backed claim: attraction does not always follow love linearly. When the resources required for interest are scarce, desire can recede without love doing so. Recognising the distinction between affection and the capacity for desire reframes how clinicians, employers, and couples respond.

About MyIQ:
MyIQ was launched in 2024 and is used by over a million individuals worldwide. It is a digital self-knowledge platform that offers more than an IQ score, with over 9 million completed tests across the various test categories, cognitive, personality, and relationships, all with personalised, actionable insights. The platform offers over 25 brain games, more than 150 intelligence puzzles, over 20 hours of expert video content, and 300+ available lessons on emotional intelligence, problem-solving, innovation, confidence-building, and decision-making. Through its IQ test, full-spectrum personality assessment, and relationship insight quiz, MyIQ delivers structured, personalized feedback that helps individuals better understand their inner world and behaviour.

Media Contact:
Sophie de Villiers
PR Manager
MyIQ
pr@myiq.com